Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I'm not fat it's my shirt

So I was out buying clothes last night for a semi-formal company party coming up. I asked the attendant at the gentleman's shop to help me find a shirt that doesn't billow at the waist when tucked in (think muffin top). He said that they all do that. I told him that since my shoulders are wider than my waist I'd like an athletic cut so it tapers in from the armpits. I was then informed that they have very little selection in that cut. Basically only 3 colors. Bwa!?!?! I wasn't in a big and tall store. What the hell was going on?
It seems that the men's clothing industry has nearly given up on serving people at least somewhat in shape. Yes, if you want nice clothes that fit please don't work out and only eat garbage. That's the lesson for today because you'll be hard pressed to find an athletic cut shirt at a department store which is why I went to the gentleman's store. So I had to pay a penalty because I'm not fat? I had to buy a more expensive shirt, and with less options, because I care about my body and haven't just gone to shit? I suppose my other option is to buy the simulated fat guy shirt to save some dough. What the fuck kind of world are we living in? I guess all the fat people are now laughing at me for laughing at them for having to pay for 2 plane seats.
Oh cruel irony.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

He's not heavy he's my brother.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Boy, is that stupie! No shirt that's not a pirate shirt should "billow."

bacon ace said...

Unless you're a skinny man in a fat man's world.

Lois Lane said...

"gentlemen's store"

Sounds posh. Is this where you go to buy your spats and top hats?

bacon ace said...

Oh hell yeah. You know me, nothing but the finest for the Bacon Ball.

P.S. I had to look up spats.

bacon ace said...

Sometime words can hurt Nooprah...and sometimes they're just plain wrong ;-)

I Ain't No Oprah said...

:;sheepishly::

Allright....so ya aint fat,

But you will be. Mark my words.

Sparkle Plenty said...

What's that? You buy your shirts at a "gentleman's club"? Well, no wonder there's not a good selection--that's not their main focus!

(Double-dog dare you to put a piece of bacon in your pocket instead of a handkerchief. Or, wear one as an ascot!)

Cake said...

You made NoOprah sheepish?!

Bacon Ace...you are my HERO!!

*bows down and offers up bacon*

bacon ace said...

I will accept this bacon with dignity and grace.