Its what's on the inside that counts

Bacon inside the waffles. GENIUS!

IM snippets

(12:24 PM) Him: oh, better watch out, I'm listening to the smiths
(12:24 PM) Me: why should I watch out?
(12:25 PM) Me: are you going to give me mopey and depressed?

Hate the bunny not the game

So I got this rather disturbing card from my ex-girlfriend recently. I'm not even going to go into the ramblings of an insane woman that she put inside it. I have to say that after 2.5 years and all the love that was there it was pretty hard to see this. I mean, I treated her really well and even during the break up I was still nice to her while she was terrible to me. I couldn't figure out why she was so damn mad at me. Then I saw an advertisement for this on the way to work today:



I realized it wasn't me she was directing all this ire towards but the Blue Bunny itself. He's the "bastard" in question. It all makes sense now. Maybe she developed some level of lactose intolerance during the breakup and wanted to let me know that her irrational behavior was due to her intestinal discomfort. Don't you see folks? Well I for one am glad this mystery was solved. For a minute there I entertained the notion that she really thought ill of me.

Another one bites the dust.

It’s hard when a friend dies. Especially if it was one you have a lot of fond memories with and have spent a lot of time together. My loss was over a year ago but I still feel it as sharply as if it were yesterday. When my now ex-girlfriend came home I was sullenly standing in the hall looking like I was going to cry. She immediately came over and asked me what was wrong. I told her that I just found out that a friend of mine had passed away. I was acting all choked up like I couldn’t bring myself to say the name of the person. Then I pointed to my XBOX 360 sitting on the coffee table in the next room. The hard drive had fried that day.
What immediately followed were her feelings of concern turning to anger. She couldn’t see the humor in this and took it very personally. She accused me of setting this up to play a cruel joke on her and to hurt her. I guess since she had a friend of her family die 6 months prior it was too soon to make any jokes about death. Then she started crying. What? Oh yeah, she was crying because she couldn’t believe how mean I was being. Because remember folks, I orchestrated this all to make her look foolish. For months after that she’d refer back to that incident as “cruel”. Sorry, I can’t help it if I’m friggin’ hilarious. Everyone I told the story to laughed about what I’d done, and then were perplexed and bewildered by her reaction. I still am.

Be a gentleman. No wait DON'T!

At work we have those access badges to unlock doors and make sure we're not going where we don't belong. One of these doors is the door to the locker rooms for the gym nicely provided by the property management company. Today as I was approaching the locker room there was a woman standing outside the woman's locker room whose badge wouldn't unlock the door.
She asked me if I could use my badge to let her in. Actually what she said was "Does your badge work on this door?” I stopped and thought about it and was about to swipe my badge to let her into the woman's locker room if it did work. I quickly stopped myself and said "I have no idea if it works, but I don't want to find that it does given that they can trace my badge back to opening the women's locker room".
I then unlocked the men's locker room and went about my business knowing that I wouldn't be brought up on some sexual deviant charges.

I am not the fist bumping guy you think I am.

Look people, just don't try to fist bump me. Say hello or shake my hand. I don't know what kind of fist bumping vibe you're picking up on, but it isn't coming from me. I was in a store recently where the clerk saw my tattoos, commented on them, and then put up the fist bump hand. *ugh* so I stood there looking at him, and kind of feeling sorry for him. I then slowly, but without making eye contact, gave him the fist bump equivilent of a limp handshake. I think he got the message and left me alone.

Hello again

Well, I'm back from the dead and single again so I guess that means I have time for blogging in my life once more.