So yesterday some genius weather reporter use the term Nor’Easter when explaining the possibly severity of the snow expected in our area tomorrow and Saturday. Of course every time it snows that term gets tossed around and means less each time. Now what this means is that much of the population here will of course panic and buy everything in the grocery store because god forbid you have to leave the house when there’s snow on the ground. This self same pile of retards will complain about the snowy conditions which are all but guaranteed in this area of the country. WTF? It’s New England! If you don’t like it then leave because it will happen EVERY DAMN YEAR and I’m sick of hearing your bitching. Yeah it’s cold, yeah it’s snowing, yeah driving condition change. That’s what it means to live in New England in the winter. Please rid me of your presence and move to Florida, or possibly swallow a shotgun.
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*Gotta give credit to the Asian Cowgirl for my new favorite saying.
**This whole entry was an excuse to use this image I found.
13 comments:
Brilliant! 4 st4rz!
*I must borrow "pile of retards."
"some genius weather reporter use the term Nor’Easter" - I would call these weathertards.
I thought it was a 'gaggle of retards'?
One thing is for sure. There are not alot of retards in that pile. There are a lot. (With a tip o' the hat to Redbeard today.)
These days, it seems to me that the big storms they fret about always "blow out to sea." Now I'm using THAT expression for everything: "Hope that cold blows out to sea soon..." "Hope those car troubles blow out to sea..." I am now worried about the sea absorbing all of the stuff I have blowing out there.
I wonder what happens after those storms blow out to sea. They've got to go somewhere. Eventually they end up in Europe or England, right? Soon after we had our first snow, Jayne had hers, right? Coincidence or no? So in another day or two, Jayne gets ice and snow, one would think.
My gods, I've become a weathertard.
Delighted that 'pile of retards' will be yet another venue for expression.
And yeah, there's no shortage of retards...or piles of them. I came across several just moments ago in the gym I work at. And those are BIG retards, so as you might imagine those self same piles get a little more involved.
Gives new meaning to 'retard strength'!
We could start discussing the "Factor of One...retard"
But would we?
Ooooooh I hear the complaining here, too...yes, we have a lot of snow. BUT IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME WE'VE EVER HAD SNOW, FOLKS! This is Canada...we're famous for our snow. We have snow for almost six months out of the year here on the east coast, you'd think people would be used to it by now.
(I'm sooo using "pile of retards" at my first opportunity.)
People, just remember. If you live in New England, you need to RUN, not walk, RUN right over the pile of retards to your nearest grocer and get your bread and milk.
Even if you're lactose and grain intolerant, get your bread and milk now! Because you could be in your house for at least 10 hours straight without bread and milk. And you know what that means? You'd have to survive on cookies and wine....
Wait. That sounds good. Instead, walk around the pile of retards, go to the liquor and pastry shop and you're all set.
On another blog I read regularly, this sarcastic little snippet just appeared:
"aaa. it is snowing. oh noes. i've never seen anything like it before in my 31 years in new england. run for your lives!!!"
Apparently you're not alone in thinking there are piles of retards around.
p.s.
Lois: Can you look after my emergency supplies, please, from now on? Right now I'm pretty sure all I have is instant soup, bottled water, and camp fuel*. ::yawn::
(*For heating the water, not eating, ya pile of retards.)
Cake,
No syrup? You just don't learn do you?
It's maple-flavoured soup? No? Not buying it??
Crap.
::tears up citizenship card and packs for the relocation to the US::
Bring a shovel. Oh and some putine if you don't mind.
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