Be a gentleman. No wait DON'T!

At work we have those access badges to unlock doors and make sure we're not going where we don't belong. One of these doors is the door to the locker rooms for the gym nicely provided by the property management company. Today as I was approaching the locker room there was a woman standing outside the woman's locker room whose badge wouldn't unlock the door.
She asked me if I could use my badge to let her in. Actually what she said was "Does your badge work on this door?” I stopped and thought about it and was about to swipe my badge to let her into the woman's locker room if it did work. I quickly stopped myself and said "I have no idea if it works, but I don't want to find that it does given that they can trace my badge back to opening the women's locker room".
I then unlocked the men's locker room and went about my business knowing that I wouldn't be brought up on some sexual deviant charges.

I am not the fist bumping guy you think I am.

Look people, just don't try to fist bump me. Say hello or shake my hand. I don't know what kind of fist bumping vibe you're picking up on, but it isn't coming from me. I was in a store recently where the clerk saw my tattoos, commented on them, and then put up the fist bump hand. *ugh* so I stood there looking at him, and kind of feeling sorry for him. I then slowly, but without making eye contact, gave him the fist bump equivilent of a limp handshake. I think he got the message and left me alone.

Hello again

Well, I'm back from the dead and single again so I guess that means I have time for blogging in my life once more.

Dirty fun

Well as I live and breathe I'm, uh...living and breathing. I've been busy with work and whatnot. This Saturday I'll be driving my car on 2000 acres of wooded private property. Can't wait. Pics and video to follow.

Snow removal

Some people shovel. Some people use snow blowers. Some people use torque.

P.S. Cake, this is why I love snow.

Help the (horny) youth of today

A friend of mine IMd me asking for help with a work project. She works at a college and needs to come up with some pro-condom use slogans for posters to hang around the campus. I popped off a few quick ideas but thought "Aha! who better to help her than the Blogeteers?". So please do add your own slogans to help these confused youths.

"Condoms: Because you don't know how dirty that bitch is"
"Condoms: He's lying about that vasectomy"
"Condoms: You may want to hump now, but you 2 would make ugly kids"
"Condoms: Because AIDS sucks"
"Condoms: It's kind of like a kinky latex outfit"
"Condoms: It's like cheating God"
"Condoms: It protects your oozing sores"
"Condoms: All the cool kids are doing it" (It works on so many levels)
"Condoms: EASY CLEAN UP!"
"Condoms: Be a gentleman and keep it from sliding down her ass crack during the afterglow cuddling"
"Condoms: They work in asses too!"

Zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!

We have a software release to get out today. I'm currently eating chocolate covered espresso beans while drinking coffee with very little food in my stomach. I predict by noon I'll vibrate right through the floor. Wish me luck.