Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Help the (horny) youth of today

A friend of mine IMd me asking for help with a work project. She works at a college and needs to come up with some pro-condom use slogans for posters to hang around the campus. I popped off a few quick ideas but thought "Aha! who better to help her than the Blogeteers?". So please do add your own slogans to help these confused youths.

"Condoms: Because you don't know how dirty that bitch is"
"Condoms: He's lying about that vasectomy"
"Condoms: You may want to hump now, but you 2 would make ugly kids"
"Condoms: Because AIDS sucks"
"Condoms: It's kind of like a kinky latex outfit"
"Condoms: It's like cheating God"
"Condoms: It protects your oozing sores"
"Condoms: All the cool kids are doing it" (It works on so many levels)
"Condoms: EASY CLEAN UP!"
"Condoms: Be a gentleman and keep it from sliding down her ass crack during the afterglow cuddling"
"Condoms: They work in asses too!"

15 comments:

The Silver Fox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Silver Fox said...

I knew it had to be important when I saw that you'd "plugged" this post at (at least) three different blogs!

How about:

"Condoms: A layer of protection for a 'layer' of... other people."

"Condoms: They may spoil spontaneity, but you'll have that bad memory for the rest of a long, long life."

"Condoms: They're SO much cheaper than child support."

"Condoms: They're what YOUR parents should have used."

Sparkle Plenty said...

Condoms: They Couldn't Save Montalban and McGoohan, But Maybe You?

Okay okay okay. I'm just getting started. Let me find my chocolate-covered espresso beans.

Condoms: Not Just for Breakfast Anymore.

Oh, HECK no. Oh, the jeez. I'm going to have to think about this.

The Silver Fox said...

Sparkle: "Condoms: Not Just for Breakfast Anymore." Pretty sick, kiddo. I'm proud of you.

...but if anyone submits "Got Condoms?" he or she dies. We'll send The Kanadian Krusher to do it.

Lois Lane said...

"Condoms: The San Francisco Treat"

"Condoms: Yes We Can!"

"Condoms: Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires"


Hmmmm.....maybe I need some o' those chocolate covered expresso beans too.

bacon ace said...

"Condoms: The flavor savor"

"Condoms: Would you rathe put this in her or a coat hanger?"

Sparkle Plenty said...

Condoms: Don't Forget Your Rubbers!
(Oh, no. I think this is an old army slogan or something. None of the kids will understand. Might as well go with, "Condoms: Hide Them In Your Friend's Victrola!")

Okay, all the kids text. Maybe she should try incorporating little texty things.

Condoms: Your ACE in the hole!
(ACE? Access Control Entry? Eh? Eh? Oh, dear. It's no good, right?)

Condoms: They'll Keep You AAS!

Condoms: When It's AFT!

See, because I no habla texty things, I'm referring to a list of IM and text acronyms. The list seems sketchy, 'though. Surely there is not really a: AFAHMASP (A Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted), is there? Do you kids text-message PROVERBS back and forth?

I Ain't No Oprah said...

CONDOS: When you really don't want to do yard work.

Anonymous said...

oh dear....

Kathy said...

Rubbers, for the longer lasting chew

Rub Her with Rubbers

Condoms + Beer Goggles = Don't leave home w/o them

Condoms mean never having to say you're sorry

Condoms - Who knows where she's been?

Kathy said...

oh and...

If he keeps his d*ck as clean as his dorm room, you're going to need a condom.

Anonymous said...

Baconigood

Does your mother know how you spend your time, writing jingles for condoms?

Pyzahn said...

Uhhh....I just stopped by because I was visiting all bloggers who had listed bacon as an "interest" on their profile.

What in the @*##*! did I fall in to?

Actually, some of these are pretty damn funny. But keeping with the bacon theme, how about...

Condoms: Prevent unwanted pork.

The Silver Fox said...

So, you want condom ads with a pig theme?

"Condoms: So you pigs won't be makin' bacon while you're porkin' her!"

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