Because Cake threatened me here’s a new blog entry:
My grandmother passed away yesterday. Now I’m not telling you this to bring you down or fish for “I’m sorry to hear that”. I’m telling you because you need to know this fact for the setup of the retarded line someone delivered to me yesterday.
So we’re in the emergency room just after she was pronounced dead and there was a pastor there. I guess he felt the need to say something to break up our silent grieving (douche bag) and came up with “She looks very peaceful”. Yeah? NO SHIT SHERLOCK SHE’S FUCKING DEAD!!! Thanks for the update. What? He thought she’d be up and about doing a jig?
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14 comments:
This really brought me down....sorry to hear that.
I love that every single obit in the history of obits says, "He/she died peacefully in his/her sleep."
I want to go ranting and yelling obscenities and trying to make a deal with the devil and stuff.
And then I want it to say exactly that in my obit.
(But seriously...I am sorry about your grandma, Bacon.)
p.s.
You might be the first person I've ever successfully threatened. Awesome!
Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your grandma too.
People never know what to say in these situations. For me, the worst was when my dad died. About three weeks later, a friend said to me "So, do you still miss your dad?"
I just stared at her for a minute and said "I dunno. What do you think? If *your* dad had a heart attack and died suddenly, a month later, do you think you'd still miss him?"
20 years later, I can still hear that idiot stammering.
This person, by the way, is the same girl who asked me if I was pregnant when I most definitely wasn't.
Thanks everyone.
Lois,
Wow! That person totally beat this retarded pastor in the retardation world tournament in the category of retarded things to say regarding the death of a loved one. Bonus follow up points from the pregnancy question I suppose.
Hoag's Dad came up to me and my sister's funeral, shook my hand, and said "Congratulations"
//retarded things to say regarding the death of a loved one//
Here's one:
"On the day you were born, everyone was smiling while you were crying. At your funeral, hopefully everyone is crying while you're smiling."
Ok, maybe it's not so retarded, but definitely reeks of cliché. Godspeed, Bacony Grandma. May your grieving period be a speedy one.
Wow...that's two for two on Douchy things religious douche bags have said to you and yours in the hospital.
They're on a holy roll!
When my Nan died, someone I knew asked how old she was, so I said she was in her 70s. The person said: 'Ah well, that's not so bad then.'
I wanted to hit her. Or maim in some way.
I'm sorry about you Grandmother too.
Yeesh. "She looks very peaceful"? What a jamoke. Seems like they'd give ya some better material than that at Pastor U.
Here's my favorite grandmother story: My grandma's two sons were teenagers, and they started fighting. She was worried it would get out of control, so she clapped her hands and shouted, "Boys! Boys! Stop!" Nothin'. They kept fighting. So, she cried out hoarsely, "Ahhhhh!," swooned, and "fainted." Nothin'. They kept fighting. So she got up, edged a little closer, let out a hoarse cry, staggered, knocked over a pail, and swooned and fainted again. This time, they noticed, stopped fighting, and got very scared. Victory! Until they dumped the vase of water on her. She loved telling that story.
I celebrate yer grandma, Mr. Ace.
::checks the blogger rulebook::
Oooh! It says there must be a new blog every two weeks or else Cake is allowed to put you on notice!
Just sayin'!
WTF I'm greeving!
Uh...Ok I've been lazy. Sorry.
::nudge nudge::
Going into hibernation?
I remember that.
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