Movin' on up

Hey all,
I've got the day off from work today to finalize (do the other 75%) of packing up my belongings for the move tomorrow. Heading to Watertown to be back in civilization, and of course closer to NoOprah's lovely boutique. I'll also be closer to bostongraf for our Saturday morning breakfast meet ups. It's kinds like buddy night, but with far less umbrella drinks.

So as not to confuse Cake and Sparkle (which isn't a put down, I'm starting this out of genuine concern for your mental states) this is indeed a current blog posting. this move hasn't happened yet, it's scheduled for September 29th. So feel free to comment as if it's actually happening now because, well, it is.

On top of Old Smokey

Lighting a cigar on top of a boat in windy Boston Harbor while its drizzling can be a difficult thing to do. And when you've used 1/4 of the book of matches you may start to feel some pressure to get this done or look like an ass. Now I could have asked someone for a lighter, or I could have lit the other 3/4 of the book of matches all at once and hoped for the best. I chose the latter which just barely worked.

The cigar was enjoyed and I didn't feel like a failure any more than I already had that night.

Shortest job ever?

So many of you know that I started my new consulting engagement this morning and are probably wondering why I'm writing a blog entry at a client site. Fair enough. However, I'm not writing this from the client site. I'm writing from my office back at good old home base. So here's what happened:

I show up at 8:50 at the client site for my 9:00 meet and greet. The person that arranged my contract on their side wasn't in yet so I was asked to wait in his office. 15 minutes go by and the person who escorted me there stopped by to see if he was there yet. He wasn't and she offered a few things to help me out just as my phone rang. It was my sales guy from good old home base telling me that he got a call from the client late last night saying that the deal was off and that they were going to try and get this job done with internal resources. Unfortunately he didn't get the message until this morning.

So now I'm there, in his office, and wondering WTF? My first thought was "dammit why did I go spend $350 last night on non-fat guy shirts and dress clothes which I hate wearing anyway?" Ok, I'll need them anyway for the next client site, but I altered my plans last night to be able to go shopping. Then I had the Matrix scene in my head and half expected the voice on the phone to call me Neo and tell me to do exactly as he said if I wanted to get out of there, instruct me to stay low and run down to the next cubicle.

Oddly this wasn't my shortest job ever. When I was 15 my friend Rich and I got jobs at Foot Locker in Harvard Sq before it opened. I wasn't scheduled to start until after I got back from vacation in Arizona visiting the grandparents. So I get home and I have a message on the answering machine from Rich that simply says "Don't bother going to work tomorrow we both got fired". Bwa!?!?!?. So I called and asked him "What the fuck did you do to get us both fired in under a week?" He wasn't sure what happened he was just asked to not come back in. I called the manager and pretended not to get the message. He essentially said that they found someone else that could work full time instead of us 2 as part time after we were already hired. Man was I pissed.

However I wasn't pissed this morning. It was funny if nothing else. And it gave me the opportunity to open up my car on the way to work which I haven't been able to do simply commuting down Rt 117 in the morning at 30 MPH if I'm lucky. So there was at least a bright side.

Oh shit! Am I a furry!?!?!?!

http://furry.wikia.com/wiki/FurrySexuality

For those of you that don't know what a furry is read this or none of this will make any sense. However you should know that when most people find out what a furry is they wish that they hadn't.

Done reading? Sorry I had to do that to you, but now you know my pain. I myself found out what a furry was a few years ago when a guy I know let me know that he was one when he mentioned that he and his lover frequent Furry-Con, an all furry convention. I shit you not. I thought he was kidding, and I wish it were so. Seriously, I don't think I had an erection for weeks*.

As many of you know I was at the San Diego Comic Con a few weeks ago. Now at large sci-fi and comic book conventions there are often people that dress up as fictional characters (called cosplayers=costumed play) and roam the convention. They're a harmless lot of nerds and some of the costumes are quite impressive, or rather funny. Sometimes it's just an opportunity for a woman to wear little clothes and gather a lot of attention from the throngs of sexless nerds. Case in point; the slave Princess Leia outfit wearing woman (Return of the Jedi) that's been there the past 3 years that admittedly fills it out nicely, and the fat woman that wears one for, what I hope is, irony.

Now since this convention is so amazingly huge (something like 40,000 in attendance each day) the safe harbor to totally be a freak among freaks is nurtured. There's a great little downtown area in SD called the Gaslamp District with a ton of great restaurants and clubs that con attendees basically take over for the week. Now it wouldn't surprise you to know that the cosplayers, in this massive sea of nerds and geeks, feel totally comfortable walking around this area of town in costume. And hey, good on ya and let your freak flag fly people.

Now you thought I forgot about the furries right? Or you wished I had? Sorry Charlie now we get down to the subject of today's blog; Am I a furry? You should know that furries are usually in fully encompassing suits like a mascot or something. So we're walking through the Gaslamp District and headed out for dinner when we come across a beautiful young woman dressed in a Josie and the Pussycats outfit, and she filled it out nicely if I may say. I'll also say that there is nothing wrong with a beautiful woman walking around like that in public, nothing at all. Now here's the problem; we have a woman dressed in an outfit meant to look animal like. It has cat ears, a tail, and is tiger striped. I made a comment about her to my friends as we passed by her and someone jokingly said that made me a furry. Now anthropomorphic animals have never got me hot (Grimace does nothing for me), but she was certainly on my radar. Am I some kinda half furry like a bisexual of the furry world?...

*Ladies that's not true at all, it's just for dramatic weight and my own crass style of humor.

P.S. Still searching for my Asian cowgirl, (5 years and counting). No luck yet but I just know there's one out there for me. And you can all stop suggesting I pay a hooker to dress up as one. That's not the point.

Fucking Mondays!

Dammit! So I get into work today and swing by the kitchen to grab a spoon when I see a co-worker there who, thankfully, mentions the clients coming in today. Those would be the clients the owner (my direct boss) sent an e-mail about last week asking us to dress more business than casual (dress shirt and slacks as opposed to our. Unfortunately for me I'm starting at a new client site (new to me and the company) tomorrow for a limited engagement and need to make a good impression to a) either keep me there longer, and or, b) get more of my coworkers in house. We're consultants if that didn't make any sense.

Now with my mind focused on the new engagement tomorrow I, forgetting the boss' e-mail, decided to go more casual today and to save the "nice" clothes to impress the new client tomorrow. DOH! So I had to boogie on home 5 minutes after getting to work, crack open the nice clothes stash, iron, and haul ass back to work thankfully before the clients arrived. I also haven't shaved since Thursday so I'm a bit rough around the edges. I was planning on shaving tomorrow morning. Again, new client and all. All this hassle for someone I'll simply be introduced to, shake hands, and they'll move right on. It's also possible that I'll see them on their way, but that will be the extent of our communication.

Now if you know me well you'll know that I don't go out of my way to impress people. They either like me or they don't. I don't even make this much fuss about first dates, and I'm damn sure more interested in what happens with those than with any clients. Hell, I've shown up to quite a few first dates in just jeans and a t-shirt. Okay, I was a teenager then but you get the point.

Sorry there's no funny in today's blog, just rambling.

Snake Bite!

A long held dream of mine was fulfilled today. My co-worker Joe and I went to Wakefield for lunch in his car and we were bringing food back for another co-worker. Another car load of people came with us as well. After we ate I had food to bring back and Joe suggested that I give it to the other car since I'd be driving and held out his keys. I wasn't sure if I should reach out for them or if he would pull them back. I was frozen. You see Joe owns my if-I-won-the-lottery-car, a Dodge Viper. I've long dreamed to own or even simply drive one of these beasts.

I cautiously reached out for the keys and had them in hand. He knows how much driving one would mean to me, and I said "Now would be a very bad time to tell me you're joking". He just laughed and said that he was serious, and I haven't felt this grateful for something in a long time.

What you need to understand is that my 2 dream cars since 1997 have been a WRX and a Viper (attainable, and lottery winner respectively). I now own one and have driven the other which is probably as close as I'll ever come to one and I'm OK with that.

This car handles like its on rails and is ridiculously fast. For those of you that don't know what a Viper is it's a rear wheel drive 500 horsepower 6 speed manual monster. This particular one is a yellow convertible. It has 6 speeds but I wasn't going to need them. We were rolling on 95 doing 60 mph when a lane opened and I was told to "open it up". Still in 4th gear at 60mph I nailed the gas and hit 100 mph in what seemed like about 5-6 car lengths. Now my car's no slouch to say the least, but this just amazed me. It's the fastest and nicest car I have ever, or probably will ever drive. I'm still giddy from it.

I think him offering comes from 2 things; 1) we're both car guys and he understands my profound admiration and respect for that car. He knows I wouldn't beat on it and I'd be extremely careful. 2) He's been without his car for 2 months of prime summer driving and it's really been eating at him (got it back last Saturday). A few weeks ago when going out to lunch I told him to drive my car because I know how lunch he missed driving a performance vehicle. He was very appreciative and put Blue through the paces. Call it karma (car-ma)

BTW when a Viper owner is impressed by your car you've done something right ;-)

Going Bananas

Just a quick hit here. Reese's has been putting out some crazy peanut butter cup combinations over the last 2 years. Some have been good, some not as good. But good gravy did they nail it this time. They now have the "THE King Size" Elvis themed PB cups with banana cream and they are just what the doctor ordered. They loveliness is housed in the Big Cup chassis so you get the normal amount of PB as in the standard cups, and an equal amount of banana cream.
I picked these up last week at a deli on the way to work and flipped when I had them. I bought the last pack Monday and am afraid to eat them in case I can't find any more.

Crappy phone pic here (sorry it's the best I could do at work: