What might have been

In response to Cake's blog entry lamenting that we do not have rocket cars even in 2009 as we were promised in many sci-fi books and movies at least we can take solace in the fact that certain other, shall we say negative "prophecies" haven't come true from the self same sci-fi books and movies. Like this here TV show intro explains from 1980. In the date in the intro I'd have been 19 yeard old and in my 2nd year of college. I'm glad it didn't come to be.

New Year's Resolutions

Meh. That's just a way for people to feel good about themselves and their new goals for a few weeks before they forget. How about actually living your life and improving it all year round? Too tough for you? Need a kick in the ass once a year to remind you that you have to live your life and nobody will make it better for you aside from yourself? Fine, have your silly resolutions. Weaklings.

The best use of time

It’s such a sinful pleasure, and I shouldn’t get as much enjoyment or satisfaction out of it as I do, but… I do. There’s just something so right about texting someone while on the hopper. It makes you feel very productive, and it’s a little bit humorous. I had a conversation about this a few days ago and some people were a little grossed out ,but then it kind of made sense to them. Other people completely agreed off the bat so I’m not the pioneer by a long shot, nor am I the only one.
Look, I’m not talking about after or god forbid, during, wiping. That would indeed be rather nasty. Just simply sitting there texting and “taking care of business”.

P.S. I sent NoOprah a text stating “read my blog in 30 minutes” because I know this will somehow skeeve him out. You know how dainty he is.

Grimace: A study in “What the fuck are you?”

At a holiday party with my cousins on Saturday the McDonald Land characters were brought up. You know, Ronald McDonald, Mayor McCheese, the Hamburglar, and of course; Grimace.
Okay I get what the “creators” were trying to convey with each character. Ronald is fun and playful. You can practically hear marketing saying “Come on down and chow with this fun bastard”. The Hamburglar speaks to a child’s mischievous side. Mayor McCheese appeals to a child’s good nature and need for structure, and/or an authority figure.
Now give all that just what was Grimace? A purple spice drop come to life when struck by lightning in the lab of a mad scientist? And what kind of name is “Grimace” for a children’s character? I mean Oscar the Grouch I get. He’s supposed to be a douche. But whey “Grimace”? It’s a sad and sour face a person makes when unhappy. Why would they want to use that name and slow thinking fool to appeal to kids? Was it to get the special need kids to feel welcome? “Hey there’s one of us there too. I think I’ll put peanut butter in the VCR”.
Whatever it was the world may never know. My cousins and I guessed as to what he may be and the best guess that we could agree on came from my cousin Kate; a gelatinous retard. There you have it folks. Grimace is simply a gelatinous retard. Case closed.

Shit is gonna go down!

Breaking blog news. An update to an earlier report.
http://baconygood.blogspot.com/2008/09/mr-rage.html
So it looks like Mr. Rage is being cut loose today. Shortly even. Yes, the irate ‘Nam vet is being let go from employment at my company sometime today. It’s like a ticking time bomb. This could end very badly. No, it will end very badly. Look, I’ve seen First Blood. I know how this shit is going to go down.

To all my readers, if I end up being taken out in a wild rage or M60 rounds and/or “canned heat” know you all that I love you.

Violet, what are you?

I don't know why but while sitting at work yesterday I was reminded of my first big boy crayon set as a kid. I had graduated from the fat Crayola pack with only 8 colors, to the more pencil shaped 64 color box. I spent a lot of time just pouring over the crayons themselves and reading the names. When I came to violet I was perplexed. Was this blue, or purple? The crayon itself looked blue, but then it also looked kind of purple.
I had to draw something with it. Anything , just to see what it looked like on paper. It looked more purple on paper, but also kind of blue (no, not the Miles Davis album). To this day violet still kind of confuses me. Even after physics class where I was given the definitive scientific answer as to what violet light is, its place in the spectrum, and the truth to whether it was purple or blue. It still messes with me though.

P.S. I hate teal and I'm glad the 90s are over.

Image is everything

Yesterday someone on my team wore a tie to work. Now when you do that everyone in an IT office will ask why you're wearing a tie because we simply don't do that at work. "Are you interviewing?" comes from just about every concerned co-worker, or the ones eager to see you leave as well.

So yesterday the guy that wore the tie was also wearing jeans and sneakers. After he threw down the gauntlet I decided to wear a tie today as well, with a dress shirt and dress pants. You know, really class the joint up. My team thought it was pretty funny, but the HR person I passed in the hall had a look of horror on her face. Because she works in HR I'm imagining that she can't ask if I'm interviewing even as a joke (you know how they can be about rules and such), but you could see that she really wanted to say something and didn't. It made me laugh.
The VP of Engineering stopped by my desk and asked what was with the tie. I told him today was my last day and his facial expression was priceless. A smile that slowly turned to stone face. He seemed very releaved that I was just kidding.